Tips for supporting a disabled child’s siblings

• Let siblings choose if they want to help with their brother or sister.
• If you can, try to spend a little time with each child on their own, even if this is reading a book or going to the local park.
• Ask friends and family to help siblings continue their normal routines, such as going to sports clubs or other things they like to do.
• Ask your local authority about short break services in your area.
• Some people find it helpful to have cards explaining their child’s condition. These can give siblings a simple way to talk about their disabled brother or sister to their friends.
• Plan activities and outings you can do as a whole family.

Worry about bringing friends home

• Talk with your child about how they might explain their brother or sister’s disability to a friend.
• Encourage but don’t expect siblings to always include the disabled child in their play or activities.
• Let them retreat to their bedroom, and when they’re older you can think about letting them lock the door.
• Acknowledge siblings’ negative feelings about their brother or sister and talk about the feelings of guilt they may feel. Explain that everyone gets angry with other family members sometimes.

Stressful situations at home

• Encourage siblings to develop their own social lives.
• Some siblings find it helpful to meet other young carers to share difficult emotions in a supportive environment. There are young carers support organisations across the UK such as ours.

• Some siblings may prefer to talk to someone outside of the family. Our staff are always available to talk to.
• Tell your kids what the doctors have told you. Try to answer their questions honestly.

Limited time and attention from parents

• Every so often put the needs of siblings first and let them choose what to do.
• Decide on certain times you will dedicate to siblings individually, for example bedtime or day trips once a month.
• Try to find activities that the family can enjoy together, but also other activities to enjoy separately so each child has something special.
• Try to arrange short term care so you can attend important events with siblings, like sports day. Our services can cover most times of day or evening.
• Sometimes take your disabled child along to their sibling’s event: siblings supporting each other works both ways.